Thursday, June 11, 2015

Being Childfree

The other day I was speaking to a customer and we got onto the topic of children. I said that we did not have any and he asked me “what I do with my time” to which I replied “I sleep when I want to and I do not have to worry about early-morning Saturday sports etc.”.

For some people being childfree is a choice and for some people being childfree is an enforced choice.

Whatever your choice be it childfree or being a parent it is absolutely your choice and it really has nothing to do with anyone else. End of story.

What never fails to piss me off is how some people think that if you are not parents then you do not understand stress or being tired or how hard life can be sometimes.

“Ummmmm HELLO people did you get stressed before children? Did you get tired? Did you have hard times in your life? I bet you did, but obviously nothing compares to how hard it is as a parent”.

So sorry if I cannot understand being a parent but please do not disrespect my life and feelings because it is just as real as yours. I do have a purpose even if I do not have children.

In my teens I actually wanted children as I had an idealised idea of what being a mum entailed. When I hit 18 I changed my mind and stayed that way until I met my (now) husband. I wanted children with him. We had a miscarriage and it really made us think about being parents and what that would bring. Had that baby been born we would have a 10-11 year old child which is crazy.

When I realised that we would probably never have children I was devastated. I grieved and could not stand to be around my pregnant friends or family. It was a dark period in my life. The grief was like a raw, open wound that would not close no matter how hard I tried. However, I made it through and survived and now I cannot even imagine my life any differently to how it is today. I am happy. I am happy being an aunt, I am happy being an honorary aunt to my friends children. I love babysitting and get to do so this weekend. At the end of the day I get to hand the baby back and go home to our fur kids and shower them with cuddles.